Dating colleague advice

04-Sep-2016 13:41 by 3 Comments

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Work is a way of test-driving a potential partner (ie getting to know them) before taking the plunge and asking them out. Etiquette: Dating a work colleague requires a good amount of old-fashioned social etiquette, not because it will make you any more attractive but because it will make the whole process a lot more comfortable and a lot less difficult, if and when the whole thing ends. Working with someone means forging an effective relationship.

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Do what you want on the social scene, but in business do not be too eager.It is difficult jilting anyone you have to work with, but once you have had sex it is a million times tougher and more complicated. Don't tell even your closest workmates what went on.There's no need to keep the whole thing secret, but never, ever spill the beans about what was said and what was done. Never tell anyone you work with what a disaster/rave it was.If you are asked out by a co-worker and turn them down, keep that quiet too.Don't boast about your pulling power and don't mock the afflicted. Stress: The most effective way of stopping all those hormones and testosterone in their tracks. Good stress-surfing brings about the old adrenalin rush that can engender frisky behaviour, but negative stress can make you too tired and anxious even to notice the sex of the person working next to you, let alone fancy them.Be light in tone but clear about your intentions (not all of them, of course).

Allow them to see that you want to put the relationship on a social footing, thereby also allowing the courtesy of letting them turn you down too. Take no to mean no and never cajole, push or ask for an explanation. Plan a semi-jokey line that will immediately alleviate the atmosphere between the two of you and restore normal working relations.

Purely social, no work to be discussed." If you don't like that, then write your own script, but make sure it's something along those lines.

Breaking-up without tears: If you find this person is not the man/woman of your dreams it would be cruel to keep things going beyond the first date.

I enjoy working with you, so why complicate things? On paper they read a bit like Noel Coward out-takes).

And at all costs avoid the following: "That's okay, no hard feelings - as I hope you won't have when I tell you your pay rise has just been cancelled." Or: "So Quentin in accounts was right after all, you aren't lesbian/gay".

This system obviously has advantages over night-time pick-ups in darkened clubs, holiday romances, (notoriously short-lived), or blind dates arranged by friends. High-powered City workers of the Nineties are accustomed to using the office as a complete life- support system. Making a pass is a dangerous manoeuvre in the workplace. Trying to blur the lines between business and pleasure will appear sleazy.

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